Elefriends Avis 

I've been using sidebyside for almost a year and a half. At first it seemed to have been helpful. But over time I think this site might have made my mental health worse and I didn't realise until later. After some time it didn't sit well with me that constantly going on there was making me feel worse and I was ruminating more. Took multiple breaks from there since I became overwhelmed all of a sudden after a year of using it, but the cycle of overwhelm continues when I go there no matter how many breaks I took. As a result I had to completely cut down my time there. I'm honestly considering not going on there at all, even occasional use still seems overwhelming. It's also starting to feel underwhelming when I post there.

On the site login page, it says you can connect with people at any time of the day, yet it gets very quiet on there at certain times and often times people are either unavailable to chat or they're not in a good place to chat. I shouldn't have to be on there the whole day in the hopes I could potentially connect with someone. So as a result it can feel isolating. It feels near impossible to find people who have similar interests to me since it doesn't seem there's many active users on there even though thousands of people signed up to this site. I bet many either left since they didn't get on with it or they didn't need it anymore.

Not a huge fan of the layout. It's one big timeline with zero categories (except for a few clubs like photography and art). A proper forum should at least be divided into useful categories so people can easily connect with relevant posts or connect with people going through similar things. I shouldn't have to scroll through one big timeline with no categories just to find something relevant. I tried to give feedback about how useful it will be to have categories but it seems the people in charge didn't care with the way they responded. There is an option to add tags on the post but many people don't seem to use them so even if you filter posts with the tags it doesn't show many posts.

I think overall constantly reading distressing posts on there can make you feel worse. It can make you see life through a distorted lens when you're on a site where many people make it seem like there's no hope. If you want genuine connection you're better off using a different platform. I gave this site a chance but this site is no longer suitable for my needs.

WARNING: THE ADMIN TEAM ON THIS "SIDE BY SIDE" FORUM WILL SET THEIR MAD DOG SOFTWARE ON YOUR PRIVATE MESSAGES! You've been warned! The software will scan every message you ever send, to anybody else on there, and, if you appear to be discussing telephone numbers or email addresses, the Admin Team will intercept, block your message and you'll be hearing from them. Your message will no longer exist, except when they quote it to you in their telling off of you, which will often include a warning that you will be leaving the forum if you try to do it, again.

E MAIL POST REPLY NOTIFICATIONS: You'll get no email to let you know that somebody has replied to your post. After you post, you must keep returning and checking to see if you've had any replies. Either that, or you must post and just sit there and wait, and wait, and wait, because you'll get no form of notification (except on the Side By Side forum, itself) that there are any replies. Just about every forum on the entire Net will send, to your email inbox, a notification that you've had a reply, or replies, to your opening post. Not with Side By Side, you won't. You're forced to stay on there, or just keep on going back, again and again!

E MAIL PRIVATE MESSAGE/S REPLY/IES NOTIFICATIONS: You'll get no email to let you know that somebody has sent you a private message. SERIOUSLY! If you receive a private message from somebody, or a reply private message after sending somebody one, yourself, you'll get no email (or any other) notification that there is a reply (except on the Side By Side forum, itself). This beggars belief in the year 2025!

EXCESSIVE MEDDLING WITH POSTS: Extremely aggressive and interfering moderation sees important comments and advice deleted - a clear sign of amateur overblown moderators whose powers on the forum have gone to their heads! Clearly, personal viewpoints are being forced into place in the decision to delete posts - seriously unprofessional and questionable. Messaging them back, in your defence, is pointless...their word is the last word and your defence doesn't matter, even when they are obviously wrong, and you are obviously right!

REFRESHING A CHOSEN VIEWED THREAD, to check for any update/s, shoots you to the top of the page so you have to scroll down and once more hunt for what you were looking at, and even that rarely really updates the number of replies on your thread, anyway. After having to do that a few times, my guess is that you'll decide that this terrible forum is just not for you.

FORUM FAILURE TO UPDATE THREADS & POSTS! No joke! You'll find some already previously read reply posts, including your own...appear to VANISH...during the next time, or the next few times, you go to read them. The software is a joke.

THERE'S ONLY ONE POSTING PAGE, AND ONE SECTION. I'm not kidding! The entire forum is just one endless (centre-screen) toilet-roll of continuous post after post after post after post...just going on, forever! You'll be forever looking at only ONE page, all the time you're reading people's posts/threads, mixing mild depression with suicide and self-harm.

POINTLESS POSTS: You'll soon get sick of the sight of really stupid 1-sentence only posts, such as, "It did it again, today", "Why did they turn green when I did that?", "Didn't they know where it came from?", "Now, there are even fewer of them" or "How did it know I wasn't in?". I just ignore them, and pass them by - they don't even deserve replies!

Apart from all of that, there is something else about the place that will drive you crazy: just how many endless streams of pictures of (1) PLATES OF FOOD, (2) CATS, (3) DOGS, (4) DRINKS CANS, (5) CHOCOLATE BARS, and (6) FLOWERS...can you stand to see on there?

Too many times, members do their "Look at me! I'm leaving, I'm leaving!" swansong routine! All they're really doing is begging for people to tell them how great they are and seeing how many encourage them to stay. They do this especially if they've been told off about something they've posted - they just whinge to the membership, to try to gather gullible encouragers around them. "I feel like I'm a burden" or "Would it be better if I just left the site?" or "I'm such a loser...I should maybe leave here" or "You nice people deserve better than me...I should go".

The other members really do deserve better than that! It's beyond belief that so many members can't see what these grovellers're doing and that it's just another fake exit from another obsequious whimperer. They know precisely what they're doing and the trick they're pulling on the readers of their eternal goodbye posts.

Frankly, it's pitiful! There are so many other, much more helpful and better run mental health forums out there to choose from. If you go to Side By Side too much, you'll probably end up feeling far worse than before you arrived!

I was on this website for a short time and tried to chat to people but the majority had their own friend groups and would ignore anyone who wasn't a part of there circle.

plus if one of the cliques decides they don't like you for whatever reason they also get their group of friends involved to gang up on you. There's a block button yes but as it's a smallish community, it makes it feel very lonely and uncomfortable.

It's really childish the way some people act on here and I have found it to be not the very welcoming and supportive place mind says it is, there's of course the odd few that are kind but mostly it's running on favouritism.

The mind team needs to step up and stop this bullying behaviour of certain members, it's really not something you need when you're struggling with your mental health and in need of support.

Awful website. If you want to save your mental health DO NOT JOIN HERE. The moderators are incredibly restrictive in what you can talk about and like to silence you. I have increasingly felt that I am being singled out by moderators for very minor issues, while other users appear to be treated differently. When I have raised concerns about guideline breaches by others, I have felt dismissed or not taken seriously.

This has left me feeling unfairly treated, reduced me to tears, and unfortunately worsened my mental health which goes against the supportive environment I understand Side by Side aims to provide. Especially when users like PhotographerSven ask women for money and take advantage of women on there.

Watch out for a user called Photographersven if using this site, they are not who they claim to be. They have narcissistic qualities and play mind games, they also tend to target women in their 20’s. They also have a second account called Sven123 which they use for no good.

I would give this site 0 stars if I could!
Where to start.. I have been on sidebyside since it was first released. My very first account I made I kept getting inappropriate messaged from guys on there who were clearly using the site to prey on vulnerable people, I ended up leaving the site as it just kept happening.

A few months later I came back to the site to give it a second chance and have been on there ever since (3 years. 4 months at the time of writing this review) there was constant glitches on the site for 3 years which just isn't acceptable for a mental health forum to leave it in that state for so long. It only got fixed December 2023. You also can't delete private messages and still can't as of May 2024. Mind just say it's a privacy issue, so you're stuck with old private messages from people who have either left the site, been banned, or ones you just want to delete.

I am someone who likes to take breaks from sidebyside every few months as I can get overwhelmed or burnt out, I didn't see an issue with taking a break from the site and then just coming back, but according to Mind I am doing it too often and they can't keep doing that for me. They said I could just write in my bio or put a post up that I'm taking a break, but people can still message you or write on your wall whilst I am away, and as someone who gets overwhelmed, coming back to multiple posts/messages just makes me feel overwhelmed again. I explained all of this to mind, but as a mental health charity you'd think they'd be understanding, but instead they made me feel unwelcome and said if I keep doing it I am not allowed back on the site even though I never broke any rules.

25th April 2024, I take a break from the site. Please note it takes 21 days to fully delete your account, so as long as you come back before then your account won't be permanently deleted. I emailed Mind to reactivate my account, to have them say they can't find my account and that it must have been hard deleted and gone past the 21 day window.. (it hasn't, it's only been 10 days as of today 7th May 2024) I proved to Mind it hasn't been 21 days and it had been less, but my account is completely gone. All posts, comments, messages and my entire account that I made for over 3+ years completely gone. It seems Mind lie and can pick and choose when they permanently delete your account, or they've not handling people's data very well.

Either way, I am absolutely distraught my account has been permanently deleted. I had so many posts, messages and comments on there which meant the world to me all just gone and Mind don't seem to care. This feels personal to me, like they just deleted it as they were tired of me taking breaks from the site.

I won't be returning after this, if this is how you treat vulnerable people, especially ones who have been nothing but kind and supportive on there and always followed the guidlines.

Edit: 7th May 2024 Mind said they would talk to the core team and find out what happened to my account, but today 13th May I have still heard nothing back and am left not knowing what is going on and without support.

When Mind suspend a member's account they don't put a note on that person's profile to say so. So when someone you have been talking to suddenly disappears from the site all the people left behind (more so as it's a mental health site), fear the worst and are forever left wondering. I have been distraught for two days and not slept after someone I am really friendly with on this forum suddenly disappeared. I feared the worst because they weren't in a good place when we last spoke. It's really damaged my mental health. Today I find out their account has only been suspended. It's pretty heartless of Mind, knowing we all have MH issues, some suicidal, to not put a simple note on the person's profile to let us know the situation.

Side by Side is a fabulous, moderated, peer support forum.

It's available 24/7

Try it out, its brilliant!

Unpleasant website full of cliques, atrocious moderation, worryingly addictive. Your mental health will drastically worsen the more you use this site. If you want people wishing you love and hugs and calling you their "dear friend", that's all well and good but you'll get nowt more support than that. Most users don't care about anyone else other than their immediate clique, there's a surfeit of sexual predators lurking, many users play games and mess with your head with the way they delete their posts and comments to make you look foolish. You're encouraged to post your feelings only to have your posts often edited or removed; users are treated like children despite trigger warnings having a scientifically negative effect on people. You can feel worse when nobody comments back, just face the ignominy of being ignored and that makes you feel worse. On the rare occasion someone does comment, if they let their words remain, it's the standard love and hugs nonsense. Not everyone is genuine and, even among your friends, we don't really know who anyone is. There have been reports of users self-harming following their interactions on the site and I wouldn't be surprised whether there's been any fatalities after negative experiences. As for the working and the technology, the site often crashes and is shoddily made, not much effort has gone into it. A woeful experience all round. You're better off writing your feelings and thoughts down, reading them aloud and thanking yourself. Try it.

Mind team are awful, they don't care or understand people's mental health issues. I'm someone who tends to take breaks from this site now and then as it can get overwhelming. I have been told by Mind Team on more than one occasion that I'm not allowed to take a break and if I do I won't be allowed to come back to the site. This has deeply upset me as I should have the choice of when I come and go, not feel forced.

Awful website. You get constant red boxes "failed to fetch" or the website not loading. Most the time you can't write posts or send messages as the message fails or you lose what you wrote. I've found this site causes me more stress. The mind team saying they'll pass the issues onto the tech team, but nothing ever gets fixed. The website is as bad as it was when it first came out over two years ago, so saying you'll pass the issues onto the tech team isn't good enough anymore.

I would not recommend using this website. I have seen bullying after bullying going on publicly on this website and whenever it happens the mind team are nowhere to be found and if you report it they ban you from logging into your account in fear that you will harm their reputation.

The mind team silence anyone who speaks out against any wrong. emailing them will just lead you round and round in circles by them saying “you have to speak to this that and the other” but will never give you full details on who to really contact.

They aren’t helping people at all, just sat back making money off keeping the site going. so many people are saying that this website is making their mental health worse and I can see why. At first side by side was lively but now people leave all the time because of all of the horrible people the mind team have kept around. It’s a disgrace.

It is also not very usable as it constantly crashes up all the time.

This site, now called Side by Side can be a seemingly friendly place but I’ve experienced bullying and quite abusive behaviour which some members justify because they have a mental illness. People should be aware that using this site can make your mental health worse. I’ve found that the relief felt when choosing not to visit the site was its main benefit.

It is now called Side by Side. I was on this site for a while after it being suggested to me. while there are some lovely supportive people on it, it is also a breeding ground for keyboard warriors, bullies and creeps that will use peoples mental health struggles/trauma’s against them and post about people publicly to try and belittle them.

The first few months that I was on the website, I was bombarded by men looking for a date and asking perverted questions. While a lot of these accounts disappeared after being caught out, you never know who is behind the screen speaking to you and these people are always able to join the site again at anytime with a new name.

I was talking to a person that seemed normal and genuine but then they started making lewd creepy comments and getting manipulative so I cut contact.
I then Reported it to the mindteam. after being told to snooze their account, the mindteam gave them a warning and the user deleted their account but made another one and so the bullying and harassment carried on openly, right in front of the mindteam.

I Reported them multiple times as this person had many different accounts set up, only to be told to snooze them (which I already had done with the accounts I knew for sure was them) and that they will give them more warnings. The mindteam also told me that it is a common problem that they face. I just left because it was getting creepy and annoying, nothing was getting solved. The person is still on it today targeting people and spreading rumours about others for attention.

Causes more problems than what it is worth and certainly not a safe place to share your problems, I do not recommend using this website.

This place no longer exists instead it's called Side by Side. I have tried it for a few weeks but l don't find it helpful. It's supposed to be a place to find support. To be able to talk to others who have similar experiences. Mostly l get few replies so much for shared experiences! What a sad state mental health is at when this is the only place l can go!

Worst website I've ever used. I get so many messages on there from men who seem to think it's a dating site. Also you get waaaaay too many notifications. You get notifications for EVERYTHING and before you know it you have 100's.Half the time the site doesn't even work which adds more stress I don't need.

eles was a peacefull place for the most part where people with mental health would do their best to support each other as they were able to do. there were trolls who would join to upset people on purpose but they were quickly banned. it will be sadly missed by me but there is a new site called side by side if you have mental health should come and join and have a part in building its community

This site has worsened my mental health very poorly designed site no support whatsoever for a mental health charity to treat people the way they do is an absolute disgrace it should come with a health warning a toxic environment please if you have mental health problems avoid at all cost it will crack you up shame on you mind!!!

This is now called Side by Side. Please please PLEASE if you are fragile, do NOT use this site. The first comment I received after signing up and making my first post was a troll making fun of me. I reported the comment and they refuse to remove it. You can't even remove it yourself. If you go there looking for support, you won't find it. You'll find trolls and a management team who don't care. Do yourself a bigger favour, buy a really good self-help book if you can't talk to anyone and whatever you do, don't trust Side by Side or the Mind charity.

I've used Side by Side for almost 3 weeks and I can honestly say my mental health has never been at such a dire level in many years! This service is unfit for purpose and is a very real danger to anyone who is suffering from serious mental health issues.

The platform is missing all basic features and functionality, users are bombarded with endless notifications that are not even relevant to their interactions and there is no way of unsubscribing from posts to stop these notifications. This has decimated support as users wish to avoid these unwanted notifications and are too afraid to interact on others posts!

Basic protective guidelines and safeguarding are entirely absent, admin staff are rarely active or helping users. It took them longer than one hour to offer a highly distressed person any support in very reasonable working hours.

They allow and even enable serious intimidating and bullying behaviour, including toxic groups ganging up on poor vunreble people, despite many complaints directly to MIND admins by a high number of concerned users. I am just the latest person to be forced out due to this shocking and vile treatment and a mass amount of users have left the platform already.

I will never use any service of MIND ever again, including counseling or therapy. This is an absolutely disgraceful charity that is profiting from a disgustingly hypocritical on-line service.